024 How To Achieve Excellence: The Philosophy Of Fitness

0:44 Icebreaker: Your favorite pick-up lines! (Including some hilarious stories from our past!)

11:21 Intro: Showing Up (With Excellence)

12:52 Aiming high is good, but sometimes you just have to show up

17:27 Something is INFINITELY better than nothing

22:42 The Resistance; Steven Pressfield - Where does resistance come from and what can we do to overcome it?

32:53 Virtuosity

35:30 Sometimes just showing up is the same as giving 100%, despite what you thought your work "should" have been

37:05 Mike Woods, "Excellence is not perfection. Nobody's perfect, but anyone can strive for excellence." Excellence is simply you now being better than past you.

38:00 How to how up; setting intentions

39:06 Aristotle, "Excellence is an art, won through training and habit." Will Durant, "Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. We are what we repeatedly do."

39:16 Cody's difference between a "practice" and a "habit". You can be too narrow in your focus and be excellent in one area and a mess in another, so pay attention to being well-rounded.

46:22 Mario Andretti (famous race car driver),"If everything is under control, you're going to slow". Sometimes excellence needs a little slop.

47:50 Tawny Tikkala: An example of composure during the duress of hard work

53:10 Cody Looney, "Lift for today", How to handle a loss of composure, frustration, anger. Can these "negative" emotions be used as a tool for good?

58:03 An IMPORTANT message about the modern "radical self-acceptance" movement.

1:03:54 Mindset is important, but you cannot think yourself into improvement. You must take action.

1:05:15 Working Against Gravity

1:08:09 Don't just tell yourself that you're good enough or worthy- show yourself through your actions.

1:09:28 How to build confidence and virtuosity

1:14:06 Sometimes progress looks like stepping backward

1:24:22 Leveling-up fatigue, you can allow for seasons because they'll come anyway

1:31:49 If all you can do is show up, at least show up well

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Transcript

 Hi, this is Cody Limbaugh and I'm to Zari, and you're listening to the Philosophy of Fitness podcast on the Lim Network.

Today's icebreaker is about. Just had dating on the mind. It's fun. And why? No particular reason. Maybe you should share . No. But I'm curious a memorable line that had that you either dropped on somebody or someone dropped on you. Pickup lines. Pickup line. Oh man. So I've never done pickup lines.

Never. No. Cuz I always thought it was inauthentic and cheesy and I was, I mean it is. Yeah. But I can't do that then it makes me more nervous. Like it was already bad enough. I'm curious. Do did guys. Like pass them around to each other. How do people find out about these? Are they in magazines? See, that's probably one reason I never used them, cuz I always thought it was just a joke.

I thought like, you know, a priest and a rabbi and blah blah blah. Like that's a set up for a joke. Like I didn't realize that people actually use pickup lines. It can set up for a joke. . Yeah. But the joke of life, I did have one used on me once and it was quite embarrassing and I've told you the story before, but after 32 years, I think I'm finally ready to come out with it publicly.

Oh my gosh. Shared the story. It's so funny. Do you remember does this have to do with theater? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of remember. I know it's really funny. All right. First, but I'm looking forward to hearing it again. Strap in cuz this is horrific. All right. So . I haven't even heard yet. I'm laughing. Okay.

I'm ready. I'm ready. So I was quite a thespian when I was younger. And that's the theater type, not the girl on girl type. Different word. What? Lesbian thespian. I'm just trying to be funny. This is an ice breaker, so we're breaking the ice. All right. So I was a thespian and besides just high school drama, I was also in the community theater in Joseph, Oregon.

If you don't know what Joseph Oregon is and if you live more than two hours away, you probably have never heard of it. Tiny, tiny little town in northeastern Oregon. Extremely, extremely rural. And it's like a little town on the outskirts of another little town on the outskirts of another little town.

It's like four hours from a major airport. So just trying to paint a picture here. The environment that you might expect a small town like that to be in and the dating pool in the early nineties? Yeah. So early nineties. I am a high schooler, 16 years old. Probably 15. Probably 15. And yeah, so I'm in theater because it's community theater though.

There's people of all ages. So I'm one of the youngest cohort in this theater, and the rest of it's an adult cast. Right. So there's this gal who at the time was much older than me. She was probably like 32. Whoa. But I was like 15 or 16. Right. I did not look my age. I was just going to interject and say that.

Yeah. So I just wanna put that out there that before anyone thinks that she's totally disgusting or whatever, just realized that I was mistaken for a 20 something for most of my high school life. So, Probably from the time I was 13 or 14, I had facial hair that I could walk into a bar. So ding. Yeah. And I was like six foot tall.

And then I quit growing in junior high, so everybody kept getting taller than me. But when I was really young, I appeared much older. So she was sort of a hippie type chick real, real short hair except in the armpits, you know, like she was just real earthy, granola, crunchy kind of chick. And she, so the reason I point that out is that we are, we're in this small podunk town in the middle of nowhere, right?

So this was a transition in the community where the sawmills were getting shut down and the farms were shrinking. And so these old cowboy type people who grew up here were being displaced, so to speak, by an artist community. Like California hippie type people. So she already kind of like stood out a little bit.

Mm-hmm.  and she's in the theater and one day she comes up to me and we're in the makeup room. So I am with my cousin Brandon, and two or three of our high school friends. There was one foreign exchange student who was there. And I remember we were kind of in this position where we were all talking like in a circle.

So it wasn't, this wasn't off to the side or anything. This was right in front of everybody. She comes up to me and she just face like squares off face to face and stands there with her arms at her side. And she goes, do you have a girlfriend? And I said no. Why? Or I said, yes, why? I can't even remember what my answer was.

Cause I was immediately nervous, like, what is happening right now? And she goes, oh. I said, no, I don't have a girlfriend. And she goes, oh darn. Cuz I was hoping that maybe later on when you're with her, you could be thinking of me. Oh. And then if that doesn't work out, you could be with me and think about her.

And I, I think all the color just went outta my face. Like I was just like, I didn't even think I answered, I was just like, What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do? I'm a little bit stumped in this moment myself. And in my silence and her silence and this awkward moment, there was just like this pause beat, like a sitcom.

It was just like silence, silence, silence. And then all the people who witnessed it just totally burst out laughing. Like how? While she was there. Oh yeah. Like hilarity eyes, like everyone were crying, laughing, like rolling around, just dying. And so she was pissed and didn't talk to me the rest of the day.

Well, she was also bold , and I was kind of mortified and like, oh man, what hap what just happened? It was so yeah, that's my total life experience with pickup lines. Okay. Was that one a memorable one? Yeah. Dang. Don't feel bad about not responding. I'm not sure how. Ought to respond. Yeah. Well when you're 15, like it's not like you've got Yeah.

Those things aren't just like bubble into the surface and quick comebacks. It's more like, I don't know what to do. Yeah. I feel like if a pickup line is being used in the first place, it already kind of goes to show that this situation is kind of out of your reach or out of your practice. Right. If you're risk, if you're relying on a pickup line at least one that's been, it's it's unnatural used before.

Yeah. Because the one that I can think of is a lot more of a classic I'd say to yours. Cause yours was definitely unique. Yeah. And naughty. It's like really naughty, like right off the bat. Like I was just dumbfounded. So is this a pickup line that you've used or has been used on you? I don't think I've ever used a pickup line.

The luxury of being a lady in society, , even in the 2020s, there's still this kind of dating belief or like default ritual that guys still ask you out. And I've definitely asked guys out before, but not with a pickup line. Definitely not. My most memorable pickup line was at my birthday party. I think it was like my 10th or 11th birthday.

I was Whoa, young. Really young. Yes. And me and all my girlfriends were at round table pizza in Tigard, I think is where it is. I can't quite remember, but it's on the outskirts of Portland and I remember what I was wearing. Of course you do. . I remember what I was wearing. It was a V-neck dress that had like a chiffon overlay and it was light blue with blue flowers.

Definitely not my current taste, but so for any of you listening who don't know t all that well, you know, some people remember specific times in their lives by a song that they are reminded of or a certain smell or a person or maybe where they lived, if they moved around a lot and she catalogs all of her memories by what she was wearing.

She remembers. It's kind of amazing. . Yeah, . So, yeah. Sorry. That's how I, I measure my life in outfits. . Anyway, I was with all my girlfriends we're eating pizza. And this boy who's about my age who's hanging out with like a bunch of his older brothers or brothers and their friends he comes up to me and he asks, or he says, I lost my phone number.

Can I have yours,

Nice. Which in and of itself doesn't make any sense. But I remember almost like looking down on it, you know how memories could be that way. Yeah. You don't remember it from your perspective. You just have an idea of what it looked like this when your brain reforms the Yeah. Yes. And so the vision that I have of it is me and all my girlfriends just like cackling and all my girlfriends being like, oh my God, a boy asked you out and nothing came of it.

Of course. What am I gonna give him? My home phone number? I was all we had at the time. So anyway, that was a memorable one. Yeah, I know that I've definitely had more, you know, if you've ever dated online if you're not getting a high or a what's up, you're probably gonna get a weird ass pickup line.

But, but finish that what you told me. You wouldn't reply to anybody who just said hi Or How's it going? Well, it's, yeah, they gotta stand out. Right? So you're just like, I guess it's a losing game on the front. You're perpetuating this game that guys have to play to like get your attention. Yeah. But I guess you can do it in a way that feels authentic.

I mean, obviously the one that I reported today you know, didn't really like appeal to me. Like there were no details that were. You know, like, I guess maybe that a girl would consider like thoughtful, like, oh, he noticed me. It just seemed a little generic, you know? Mm-hmm.  For my 10 year old self yours, however, was very flattering, I suppose.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was kind of flattered, but I was just so embarrassed by the whole thing that it kind of didn't have the effect. She was probably hoping. Well, and in terms of your age, it just doesn't seem like it would've happened anyway, so it's not like a real missed opportunity there, perhaps, but I was a rascal, so I wouldn't have ruled it out.

Oh, Cody . Anyways, today's episode is gonna be goodness, how do I phrase this? Do you wanna take a stab at it? My notes are a little shotty. Yeah. You know, I forgot to write down the actual title that we had in our notes, but the idea is The types of action that you can take toward something that you want to achieve or the person you want to be.

There are different ways of looking at that. Mm-hmm. . So we are talking today about excellence, which is pretty cool cause it's in our business, we're in the business of excellence. Mm-hmm.  Virtuosity is another maybe closely related term. And then the difference between just action and inaction. So it's kind of a spectrum of action that we're talking about today.

Yes. And we're excited to, I'm really excited about this podcast. Good. Because it's something that I've given a lot of thought to over the years, and I know you have, and I know that you've been really thrilled with the ideas that we're about to talk about. And. One of the things, I think that kind of was an early connection between you and I.

Yeah. My hope professionally, my hope today is to distill some of these themes and almost give myself action steps to work off of. I feel like a lot of the themes that we're gonna be discussing today are kind of large and nebulous. And I also want to have a framework to maybe change some of the experiences that I've had or like the way that I think about them.

Because when you bring up words like virtuosity, it's, I can't help but think about aiming really high. Mm-hmm.  and I definitely have been in the position where my attempts to. Pursue virtuosity have almost like stunted me in some ways. Mm-hmm.  kind of like the same pitfalls that we've talked about when it comes to perfection.

You know, you have to just do the work sometimes. Yes. And sometimes the, the best cue you can get from a coach is just pick up the bar. Yeah. It's easy to split hairs, it's easy to overdo it. Yeah. So that's usually when I drop an f bomb when I'm coaching. What do you mean? Like, when it comes down to that?

Like just like stop overthinking it. It's just pick up the fucking bar. Like I just, I know some people are offended by language, but I just get it over with early just because it's get, because it's just part of my personality. I think that colorful words are colorful and fun and but it kind of stops people from thinking, like when they hear an F bomb, I'm like that.

It's like, oh, okay. Sorry coach. You know, like, not a sorry, but you. It's time to move. It's just time to move. That's all there is to it. Yeah. So virtuosity is not a word that's thrown around a lot. I think that might be really unfamiliar with a lot of people. So just to give a little context, in the fitness world, I believe that virtuosity probably comes from the gymnast world, gymnastics because they are judged.

If you think about all the sports that are out there, other than body building, gymnastics is one of the few sports that's also judged not only on technical aspects of technique and certain objective measurements mm-hmm. , but there's also a subjective score of how it all comes together and how good you look doing it.

How about diving? Diving is another one. Ice skating. Yeah. There's a few. Mm-hmm. , but I think gymnastics is un tapped out. , that's all I got. Yeah. I think those two are very more closely related than body building. Cuz body building, there's not a lot of, and there is some, there's like certain poses you have to nail, but, but it's not a performance.

It kind of is, but there's also, there's just a lot of, I think there's more subjectivity to it. Whereas in diving, like you said, ice skating and gymnastics, there are specific, like there's names for movements and you either nailed it or you didn't. Well you're also like scored stylistically, right? You have to come up with a routine.

Yeah. Yes. And that's part of the virtuosity. And I think the idea of virtuosity is like, okay, we've got the aesthetics, so you looked good doing it, you've got the technique, so the technical aspect was intact and you've got the overall performance, like how difficult was it? Were you pushing limits and that type of thing.

Is that a bee? It's huge. Oh no, that's a, that's just a pine beetle. It is, yeah. Okay. It looked yellow in the light for, with the dangly legs. For those of you not aware of pine beetles, they sound like a wasp when they're flying through your house. So it's a little terrifying cuz that is terrifying. Cause it's huge, but then when it lands, you realize it's just a little harmless beetle.

Okay. Back to what I was saying, . Yeah, so virtuosity is sort of like another word in the artist community that you might hear is gestalt. And so the gestalt is like the overall aspect of a piece of art. It's how it makes you feel, the lighting, the color, the technical aspects, the composition. Like it's kind of taking the whole thing and stepping back and saying the essence, this is, yeah.

And so virtuosity is. And excellence. Striving for excellence in the gestalt. Is that a Yiddish word? I have no idea. Where It sure sounds like one from . Well, even before we get into Nitty gritties on Virtuosity showing up Yes, was a major part of the intended title that I guess never really came together.

But both, both just showing up to where you're supposed to be, to, you know, pursue whatever ever it is that you're trying to pursue. Getting to the gym is the hardest part of the workout, right? Mm-hmm.  And leveling up into, you know, a more virtuous pursuit in the same arena. Both are conscious decisions.

Yes. They aren't just byproducts, they have to be decided upon. And action. You know, has to be taken. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. You're touching on a lot of my notes all at once. Oh. So I, I kind of broke some of those up into different ideas. So I guess I'll start with my first bullet point, which is that something is infinitely better than nothing.

Mm-hmm. . So if we want to back it up a little bit before we strive for excellence, , sometimes we just have to like, show up, don't, yeah. We don't start in a place of excellence. Right. And so, you know, cars have multiple gears for a reason, unless it's a Tesla, but  you know, in order to turn that motor, you can't just start in fifth gear.

Mm-hmm. , you have to start in first gear, and that's just to get the car moving, then you can ramp up from there. One of the sayings that I've think I've coined, I don't think I heard this, but I, I like to say it's easier to keep going than to get going, which means momentum is extremely powerful and.

Because it's easier to keep going than to get going. What I recommend for people who are having a hard time is to start with something so stupid small, that it's like you almost can't make an excuse. Mm-hmm. , it's just so, it may be ineffectual even. It may not, you may not even be feeling like you're doing anything worthwhile, but you're moving, you're showing up.

So if it's I just read this in my book last week actually in the podcast, so this is gonna be a little redundant, but it's like if you if you wanna start a new workout routine and you just really have a hard time getting started and you just can't seem to get yourself up in the morning to do it or whatever it is, then put your workout gear on and like, stretch your arms over your head, take a big deep breath, and then take your workout gear off and put on, go on with your day.

But do that every day, like start to build a habit or a practice. I like the word practice better. I'll explain why. Of moving in the right direction and that's all that matters. So, fun fact, before I met you and started sleeping naked, I used to actually get dressed in my workout clothes and sleep in them.

Ooh. Reducing friction. Yes. Yeah. You know how hard it is for me to wake up in the morning. It was so helpful to be ready to go. I get it. Yeah, I get it. I had a nephew once that used to do that, but he would like sleep in his school clothes. Oh my gosh. That sounds uncomfy. Cuz he wanted to be able to sleep until the very last second.

So he's like sleeping in jeans and nice stuff in his pockets and everything.  then he was like nine. That's so cute. . Yeah. Yeah. I feel like getting started is just always the most challenging point of any pursuit. Mm-hmm.  You know, whether it's like me with sewing, like I really wanna read the manual first.

I just saw that you were reading the manual for the new chainsaw. Mm-hmm. . Getting yourself to just start. It's so challenging sometimes because, you know, you can't get into a state of flow in anything unless you start Yeah. Like you were saying, you can't cruise in fifth if you don't start in first. And you know, it's like you know, taking a boulder up the mountain kind of thing, like rolling it uphill.

And once you get momentum, you know, things get greasier, things get you know, things reveal themselves or become more interesting. But in the beginning it can really feel challenging. I'll just stand still. Yeah. And one thing that I like to really reiterate for people and remind myself, most of the things that I coach people is just, it's my, it's the shit I need.

It's just I'm trying to pass it along as I learn. So, oh, yeah. That's what coaching's all about, . I want it really, really emphasized that something is better than nothing is often thrown outside as a, well, something's better than nothing. It's almost like a negative connotation. Like, well, something's better than nothing.

Like you should have showed up on time, but I guess you're here now. You know, that kind of thing. Mm, mm-hmm. . But the reality is, is that something is infinitely better than nothing. It's not just like a little better than nothing. Something, anything, any effort put toward where you want to go in life is infinitely better than nothing.

Because nothing is just nothing. Right? Yeah. And so even if you want to geek out on like a mathematical equation of action toward your vision for your life, the smallest step is literally infinitely better than nothing. Yeah. I have a couple of examples just to bring up. From, you know, in the world of athletics as a client and as a coach.

You know, when I first started CrossFit it was at a gym that had an on ramp program. And it was a three day week program for two weeks. And I was so freaked out about the whole thing because CrossFit seemed like very trendy and everybody in there was like a superhero. And I was not in good shape at all.

But, you know, this sounded like something fun I could do with my boyfriend, so why not? And so I would get the nervous shits just before each one of those sessions on the dot. I was super terrified of going, even, even after like a couple of classes. And yeah, it was wild how my body was aware of like what kind of stress I was about to put it through.

And getting myself to get into the car and drive to the class always was so challenging for me, even though I would leave feeling awesome. Right. It was almost like I forgot about it. And that happens with new clientele all the time. You know, we tell them you're gonna feel really sore, maybe really apprehensive about coming for your second class.

Mm-hmm.  just effing do it. Yeah. We almost expect that to happen. Yep. Yeah. It's easy to forget all the, all the wins that you had just because the anxiety or the newness or whatever can really overpower your desire sometimes. Yeah. To get fit or to learn something, what have you. Yeah. There's a strange resistance that, you know Pressfield.

Stephen Pressfield talks about it in his book, the War of Art, and again, in going pro, turning Pro, turning pro, thank you. And he describes this, what he calls the resistance, which is you have something you want to do until it's time to do it. And then there's something in you that just tries to like keep you from engaging in that thing that you really want to do.

And it's an odd, it's a very, very odd thing in human psychology that that would be the case. You know, I, I want to be an artist, but when it comes time to like practice drawing on a daily basis, it's like I'll start tomorrow. You know? It's very strange aspect of psychology. And so, I try to reduce the friction as much as possible, start with the smallest step.

But when we talk about excellence or picturing change in your life, you know, I want to be a fit person. I want to be like these people who show up and kick ass and feel good. And, and you build this picture up in your head. And then I think it's, if you're not quite there yet, you're not there yet. Yeah.

And, and you know, you're not there yet. And so I think that's where a lot of the apprehension is, is sort of a latent fear. Sometimes it's a outright fear, like, I'm afraid to do this. But I think a lot of times it's more of a latent, subconscious thing where we see this disparity between who we are and who we want to be.

And we know that we're not there. And so our subconscious is like talking us out. Showing up because it's gonna reveal that. Yes. It's almost like you're afraid to fall through that gap, . Yeah. It's been interesting also being on the receiving end though as a coach. You know, with you and I getting our business started and wanting to coach in person I've been getting a crash course in what closing a deal with a new client has been like mm-hmm.

and it's been a real challenge for me. And so, just to give a little bit of background, I have always worked for other people in my coaching profession and you know, the people that I actually become face to face with as clients have already gone through the process of signing up, handing over the money, making the commitment.

I have never had to really be in charge of that part of the process. Mm-hmm.  sometimes here and there, like maybe with a friend and like establishing trade or something. But that was never like my main gig. And so now that, that's kind of the only kind of coaching that I'm doing right now and wanting to offer it to locals, I have really come to experience like on the other end, like what that kind of hesitation looks like as a person who's like providing the service.

And it's kind of mind blowing to me sometimes of like how far people can drag their feet. know, when you yourself are experiencing it, it's kind of like anything else. It's easy to just like put it aside and when it's important it'll come up. But, you know, when you've got other folks on the hook I've been trying to figure out like what is my role as a coach, as a business owner to like mitigate or manage.

How big that gap is from like having made the decision that they wanna do something and then actually starting it. Yeah. Like there's all this resistance and I feel like I'm getting a sense of like what certain trends are, and you've given me really good advice about get them in the door, get them face to face, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. But like even doing that has caused a lot of, or has taken a lot of time and energy that, you know, the issue that is arising for me is that I take these Prospects and like those things falling through. I take 'em really personally. Yeah. Which, you know, maybe just the more that it happens, I won't feel that way anymore.

But I also am finding that like, that's just not a muscle I've been flexing. I haven't figured out or practiced the efficient way to pitch what my service is. Mm-hmm.  and have a quick turnaround of that actually starting, and I'm learning that a lot from you, which is great. But whew. It's been rough.

It's been really rough to witness it because not only am I missing out on, you know, having the opportunity to work for them, but like I can see them standing in their own way that you just nailed what I was about to say, which is when they're standing in their own way. Because I think when it comes to sales, especially as a new personal trainer, I remember way back in the day, I wasn't as confident in my own abilities and I didn't really even understand the impact I was gonna have on people.

In fact, it was even several years into my. Coaching career. When I started, it started to really sink into the impact that I'm having on people's lives. I got a test, I asked for a testimonial from a client, and she was in, she was late, I think she was 68. Yeah, I think she was 68 and had multiple sclerosis.

Wow. And yeah, Ms people are usually having a pretty rough time, much earlier than that in life. And so she was, she was depressed, she was hardly able to get out. Her and her husband used to go on  annual cruises. Like that was just their thing that they loved to do. And she had had to cancel for a couple years because she didn't feel like she had the energy to even go on a vacation or trip.

Mm-hmm. . And when I started training her I always knew that, you know, we had a good time. And I knew that she was improving because the really amazing thing about Coaching people with Parkinson's or MS or some of these sort of like nervous system disorders, is that you, it's not only a cumulative improvement.

Like after you've been training with me for six months, you can do this now and you couldn't before. There's also an immediate improvement. It's amazing. used to coach a, a gentleman with ataxia, which is sort of a, an offshoot of Parkinson's. Okay. Hadn't heard of that one. Yeah. And ataxia throws off your balance real, real bad.

And so sometimes you have to like, it gives you a sort of a, a situation where you have to look at your own feet because you lose proprie. Awareness. And for those of you not in the fitness world, that just means if you hold your hand away from where you can see it and wiggle your fingers, you can feel your fingers wiggling.

So, you know, you have control over your grip even when you're not looking at your hand. And if you lose preceptive awareness, you don't know if you're moving that appendage or not unless you're actually looking at it Anyway, he would come in with a cane and sort of like wobbly, he kind of walked as if he was afraid of falling at any given moment.

And then after our session he would walk out holding his cane in his hand because he didn't need it. And, and that effect would last for like 48, 72 hours. It would sort of gradually kind of come back and then we'd have another session. So it was like those kind of things were amazing. But anyway, the, that is amazing hun.

With the with the gal who had ms, you know, I knew. It was a good experience because of things like that. But when I asked her for a testimonial for my website, I was just kind of shaken because she confessed that she was suicidal when she came to me and that after coaching or after training with me for a few months, they were able to go on a vacation.

They went on a cruise and that it had impacted her life to that degree. And I was like, oh shit. What I'm doing is like really important . This is not just helping people look good naked. Like there is so much, it's such a deeper, deeper well that I can provide for people. And so my ability to close the deal, quote unquote changed because I felt like I was having to sort of.

Seek clients and, and push them into taking action. And now you had, you had said they stand in their own way. Now that's how, that's the only way I look at it now. Like, I don't need this client, we don't need any particular client, but what we have is so valuable that it kind of breaks my heart when people are dragging their feet to get started because I know how amazing it's gonna be for them.

And they're standing in their own way. Yeah. And it's like, I have to start the coaching process before they pay me, because I'm gonna coach them into fucking signing up. Like, I'm gonna coach you to taking the right decision. Well, and that's almost what it sounded like today. We actually took, you know, had an assessment with a new client today and closed, Cody closed the deal.

And that's almost what it looked like. It was almost the same way that a coach would tell somebody to perform a movement. Here's how you're gonna do it. Mm-hmm. , you did that in. Closing the deal too. Yeah, it was amazing. And I definitely have a lot to learn and you know, I think, just like you said, my confidence in coaching is a little shaky cuz it's been a while.

I'm definitely having a really good time, but I haven't had like, the, the weeks, months, whatever, to feel back to where I was. Yeah. And you know, a lot of what's amazing about having our own business is that this idea of virtuosity can come up again. Mm-hmm. , you know, when I did that CrossFit class that that two week on ramp course, they talked to us about virtuosity on the first day.

That's so cool. When have you ever gone to a CrossFit gym and they're like, everybody sit down, please. Like, we all sat down on boxes and they had what? Well, I used to coach that way. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Oh well. I wish I went to your gym. I really do. . Anyway, I do remember my coach, his name was Tyler Ciel, and he gave us a little pitch on virtuosity.

And the way that it was defined, you know, in the CrossFit world was through Coach Greg Glassman's words of doing thing, doing common things, uncommonly well. Mm-hmm. . And, you know, it didn't really mean much to me at the time because it was so early in the game and just trying to live through a workout was my focus for a really long time.

But it really became a focus of mine through weight lifting and it felt like a perfect arena to really turn my attention towards that, like, level of greatness and to be able to have the freedom to do that with our clients Now. I'm really excited about it. I feel like I have a lot of undoing or unlearning of the way that we've had to like squeeze stuff in and like, you know, when you work for other gyms that are trying to do everything all the time, some of the most important work gets left out.

Yep. You know, we've talked about how it really diminishes creativity. It doesn't really make room for, you know, rapport or, you know, making sure everyone is being addressed. You know, a class of 30 people, someone's gonna fall through the cracks. Right. And so I'm just really excited to be doing this hour away mm-hmm.

because this is something that is really important to us just as a value. And I look forward to seeing how that can really be Modeled and encouraged in a gym setting when it, it's been a long time since I've actually seen that. Yeah. Personal excellence training. So that's our business and it literally is our business.

That's a business name, but it's also what we're in the business of. And I think that you had mentioned, you mentioned how difficult it is to kind of get in that head space with our current schedule. I think you were alluding to that, that fitting it in the cracks kind of thing and just like getting it done.

I posted something the other day that said if you only have 60% to give and you give 60% that day, then you actually gave a hundred percent. You know, so showing up sometimes is just it's a reminder to show up in whatever capacity you can for that day and. Be okay with that. And this is the tough thing about excellence or virtuosity is that sometimes once you do get momentum, once you have figured out how to get that ball rolling, then when you have setbacks of any kind, emotional, physical schedule, like whatever it is sometimes it's really easy to hold a vision in your head of what it should have been.

Mm-hmm.  and not accepting what it is. Yeah. And then feeling defeated even though you kind of kicked ass. Like even though you showed up, even though you, you made the effort. Even though I don't know what the modern statistics are, but I used to know that 15% of the population actually works out on a regular basis and of.

Only 5% get a coach. And so if you are working out with a coach and you'd showed up that day, you're in the top like 1% of the population in your efforts to get fit. That's wild. And so you gotta remind yourself sometimes of that relativeness. And so what I used to teach in my, in my classes is I had, I had a big canvas banner in my gym that said it's a quote from a speaker that I heard many years ago.

His name was Mike Woods and he was kind of a motivational speaker and he said that excellence is not perfection because nobody's perfect, but anyone can strive for excellence. And that was a huge quote that I had up in my gym. And the way I try to define excellence for people is it's relative to the past.

So better than yesterday. You know, that month? Yes. That mantra of make today better than yesterday, but sometimes better is you showed up when the old, you would've just quit, right? Yes. The old, you would've not shown up at all. So even if you're not performing at the level that you had been on a trajectory for it, now you're having a setback.

The fact that you're still working in the right direction is still excellence because it's still an improvement over the, the you in the past that may not have had the tenacity to even show up. So one thing that I'm implementing right now in my coaching with one of my newer clients is to have a training journal.

Mm-hmm. . And we train twice a week. And so I want to have one day that is reflective and then another day that is setting an intention at the beginning of class or beginning of our training. And I think. That practice of setting an intention could almost raise that like 60% to like 70%. Like what you were saying in terms of like how you can operate.

You know, it doesn't have to be like anything set in stone. Like, I intend to make all of my lifts today. It's more just like I wanna have the intention that I'm gonna like, be my full self today or like show up and you know, conduct myself a certain way. Like these can be like considered like soft goals or whatever.

Mm-hmm. . And I think that that can go a long way in kind of taking the opportunity at hand, which is kind of what I think about when it comes to virtuosity is. Always noting that there is an opportunity here. Kind of like just with any challenge, there's always an opportunity to learn something, but you have to choose to do that.

Yep. It's not inherent. Yeah. To everybody. And the difference between a habit and a practice, and the reason I love the word practice, to me, setting an intention is the difference. A habit is autopilot. A habit is, well, I do this every day, that's why I'm here, kind of thing. Whereas a practice can also, from the, from external view, can look like a habit.

You're doing the same thing every day. You're showing up every day at the same time, you're doing the same activity, whatever. But if you have intention, that's what turns it into a practice. You are practicing to be the person you want to be in the. And so there's a lot of power in practice versus habit or routine, even though habits and routines are powerful.

Mm-hmm. , that intention is what separates practice from everything else, and that is, that's the only way you achieve excellence. I mean, Aristotle said the same thing. He said, action is not a ha action. Excuse me. Excellence is not an act, it's a habit. It's a, it's a, it's a repeated action taken over and over again with intention.

It's how he described it. There's, there's a quote out there floating around that's often attributed to him that says, action is, sorry. Excellence is not an action. It's a habit. That's actually a summary. Of Aristotle from Will Durant in Will Durant's book called The History of Philosophy. So, oh, just clarify that.

Aristotle never said that. What a twisted road . Yeah. So Aristotle did not say it in those words. What Aristotle said was that you had take an in intentional action repeatedly over, and your, you, you approach it with intention over and over and over and over again, and that's how you achieve excellence.

But what about when the intentional practice becomes a habit? Well, I don't think it ever can. No, because you're bringing it to your conscious awareness. It's a, it's really a similar to like an eastern philosophy of being present, being present. If you have a quote unquote habit of meditating every day, but you're just sitting there spacing off and not aware of what you're doing, that's me.

Not meditation. , like every once in a while you gotta rein it in and be like, oh, I'm just thinking about shit. Let's go back to focusing on my breath. And that's the intention and that's what separates it. That's why it's a practice, because it's conscious. It's conscious. You're bringing it to your conscious awareness and going into it with an intention.

Hmm. Yeah. I felt like in weightlifting, that was a really like easily distilled arena. You know? I feel like in CrossFit, I don't know if I would ever be able to have that same level of focus that I did in weightlifting, because there's so many variables and so much stimulus where at least I feel like with Weightlift it's like, okay, a rep at a time.

Mm-hmm. , I'm gonna repeat that same movement, but I can do it better. Right. Where in CrossFit, I felt like I never really was able to reach this kind of thinking. It's possible, I guess. I don't know. I've never heard any CrossFit athletes who speak about it that way. Have you? Absolutely. Really? Yeah. It's just, I think, tell me who, well, I think it's gone by the wayside, but do you remember the original Fire Breather?

There's only one, the original Fire Breather That was his nickname. Oh, no. Greg Sson sson. Oh, I've met that man. Yes. And I've been to his gym. Yeah. And he spoke of this of, you know, striving for excellence and, and not only trying to do, you know, more pullups in less time than somebody else, but to also do them extremely well.

You know, and, and his, he's really big on this, like the, the more quality your movement is, the more efficient you're gonna be. Yeah. So trying to be sloppy to get through it faster is maybe a short term benefit, but if you want to be the best long term, You strive for quality in every movement, and you strive to stay consciously aware of how you're moving through the workout.

Slow is smooth. Smooth as fast. Yes. Yeah. You know, I know I've talked about this on another episode, but when I tried to implement that into CrossFit, I would be moving almost too well to the point where it wasn't like much of a workout. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why. I feel like in every episode that you and I are recording, I have an easy tendency to just kind of like talk about the dark side of all of these dynamics and how I feel like I've really like, you know, fallen into these pitfalls of wanting to be.

Too virtuous. Like there's such a thing. Like where it felt Yeah. Like it actually really stunted my progress. And that is where a coach just saying pick up the damn bar Yeah. Was really helpful. Yeah. And I've seen people approach that too. And it's almost, I've always perceived it in people that I've coached who are doing that as a type of fear.

Like they're really afraid of hurting themselves. So they're moving so slow and intentional. It's like, you're not getting the stimulus that we need here. Right. And that's what we talked about I think when it was welcoming challenges or something like that. You know, you have to be okay with, you know, getting a little dirty or falling every once in a while.

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's where the growth happens. If you're always trying to manage yourself to. You know, staying on this side of the line of danger. Mm-hmm. , then you're never really gonna progress. And I think it's odd that that same dynamic can kind of show itself even in the name of virtuosity and wondering how is that possible?

I think that virtuosity and excellence is more dimensional. So in the area of fitness we're talking about working out. The movement quality is not all there is to excellence. There's also pushing your limits, encouraging the people around you, taking coaching, understanding why you're doing what you're doing.

Like there's so many other aspects to just moving well. And I think if there's too much emphasis on just moving well then yeah, you can. A level of excellence or virtuosity, but you're not going to be well rounded in, in all the areas. And it's really related to this podcast, which, you know, we're talking about fitness and then applying it to other areas of our lives.

How many people have we seen who are like super fit and really dysfunctional in other areas of their lives? Or maybe not taking care of their mental health or vice versa, or, you know, I've seen, it's always baffled me that there are people out there who are billionaires and look like they're gonna die by the time they're 60.

It's like, dude, like you can afford the training and the, the good food. Like why are, why are these imbalances there? And I think it's because you're seeking excellence in a narrow focused plane instead of a three dimens. Approach to it. But before we move on too much, I just want to get this quote out because you were, this is related to what you were talking about and it's Mario Andretti race car driver, and he says if everything is under control, you're going too slow.

Mm-hmm. . And it not only applies to race cars, but I think that sometimes there's a fear or a desire to maintain such control in our lives that pushing into fear a little bit or taking that leap is holds people back. And so every once in a while, excellence also includes maybe getting a little sloppy so that you can push those boundaries.

Yeah. I like not having to maintain your composure all the time. Mm-hmm. , I was just telling a coworker, she was cutting my hair last night and I was telling her. , I started to notice that, you know, when I went, would go to the gym and put makeup on or wear a crop top or do my hair a certain way, it would almost limit how hard I would push myself at the gym because I would try to like maintain still look.

Yeah. Yeah. And I've just decided, like ever since I noticed that I'm gonna go into the gym wearing a big ass t-shirt, put my hair up, however the fuck it has to be up for it to stay in place to do double unders or whatever. Same kind of idea, like I have to allow myself to like experience it fully to be able to.

kind of do all those different areas that you were talking about. Not just like in one arena, which would be like composure I guess, or I don't know. There are some people who I've worked out with before. Like I think about t I was just gonna say, no way. I was just gonna say, I was gonna say T's the only one who can like kick everyone's ass uhhuh and still come off looking like a model at the end of it.

I know. It's so unfair. . It's so unfair. There's a picture of us that we took, we did our level one cert again with each other. And there's a picture of us at the end of the workout and she looks amazing and I look like hell , but that's what I look like when I've tried really hard and she tries really hard too, but I think it's like, The stamina of a dancer.

She's a dancer. Yeah. And so I think that that really helps. Yeah. She really pushes the envelope and works her ass off. Yeah. Like she's not holding back, that's for sure. No, but I think you're right. The dancing, you know, that's just what I was talking about with the divers and the gymnasts and everything, is that dancers are, dancers are judged on how they do they look their presentation.

Yeah. You look like you're having a good time. Cuz if you're suffering, you still need to be smiling because people are expecting that of you. That's, I can't even imagine. That sounds so hard. Yeah, that sounds so hard. But I wonder, you know how, well, I don't know if you know how, but when I would cry, my mom would encourage me to smile and just like see what happens.

Mm-hmm. . And it wasn't to just like, be like, oh, stop crying or anything like that. But it would mostly be like when I would create my own despair, you know? And to be able to like turn things around for myself. And it really did work. So I wonder if that does something for a, for, you know, suffering through a, a workout, if I should just try to smile  Yeah.

And see what happens. It was a long time ago, but I did read an article by a coach talking about like, not grimacing, like work just as hard to do the deadlift, but don't give yourself the pain face because it's not contorting, your face isn't helping you lift the weight. And I don't know if I agree or not.

I, I don't know if I disagree. I just, I really don't know. I, because there is something to be said for a systemic stimulus. You know, attitude matters and sometimes the grimacing of the face, or the clenching of teeth or whatever is like building up attention in you mentally that maybe you can lift a little more if you're making the ugly face.

Or I can understand that and support that. But I can also speak to like the level of douche bag that I've seen displayed in that same kind of way when there's just like all this angst, like trying to like, almost like, I guess it's like kind of put on a performance, but my gosh, it can be so obnoxious sometimes.

Yeah. Like, shut the hell up. Like, I understand that you're like putting yourself into this. But I guess there would just be sometimes like in a weightlifting meet where somebody would do that, like scream at the top of their lungs or. Like a, like a bear growl or something along those lines. Like a bark.

I've heard people bark in the gym like dogs. Yeah. Annoying as hell. And then when they miss the lift, it's like, Ooh, you like worked yourself up for nothing. Yeah. I, it's like all bark, no bite . Almost. Ouch. Literally. Ouch. But I think there's something to that because you know, you had talked about the smile changing your mood, not your mood, changing your smile, you know, like your physical activity can lead your mind.

And so I think for, if you're trying to like boost testosterone and like make every little percentage possible of your lift, then those angry yells, even when you're not angry, like maybe that is actually having a legit. Performance enhancement effect. Well, what I can speak to also is, and I know you've seen this before, when I've missed a lift on a platform, I still smile.

Yeah. And that's not because I'm trying, well think after lift is different. Well, sure. Yeah. And I guess I'm just saying like it's the same kind of dynamic in terms of like, it really changes the way that I think about that failure. It's not you know, I have been in the situation where I have let myself get so disappointed over a lift, but what that does is it just creates a really shitty attitude to go into the next one.

Right. I'm not setting myself up for the best possible outcome if I give into it. Yeah. Well, that's the most impressed I've ever been with you is when you're on the platform after a missed lift or after two and then you nail the third one. I'm like, damn, I don't think I would've done that because that shit gets in my head.

Especially in front of an audience. Like, Ooh, that's rough. Well, it's kind of like what you were saying about like that 60% and a hundred percent. Yeah. You know, there was another phrasing of the same kind of concept that I had heard at a coaching seminar, and I think I might have brought this up once before, but it was a coaching seminar that took place at Stoneway CrossFit, which was kind of like a sister gym to Mercer Island.

The, the two owners were really good friends and Cody Looney of CrossFit Advantage had done a little talk for us that day. And he talked about lifting for today, and I've always loved the phrasing of it and.  is kind of like what we've talked about with virtuosity. Like, I'm gonna be the best to my ability today.

And when it comes to weightlifting, it's not even just the whole day. It's like, I'm gonna be the best of my ability for this lift. Mm-hmm. . And then the next lift, it's like you almost have to like wipe the slate clean. Yep. Which is really hard to do. It's all very, it's happening all very fast. Mm-hmm. . And you know, when it comes to weightlifting, we have chairs everywhere because we want people to be as fresh as possible when they come up to the bar.

And you know, when I would find myself really kind of like losing it to like battling the bar and like losing that battle and missing, and missing and kind of unraveling for me, you know, I would have to like take myself for a walk, like leave the space. And like a lot of times when I've worked with clients who are getting really frustrated, I always encourage them, like, put the bar down.

I need you to walk away from a minute. Mm-hmm. , I need you to like, , take a walk, come back and like hit this differently. You know, you have to rid yourself of that frustration. Yeah. Cause like you were saying, like yeah, it can kind of be a way of like amping yourself up or like wielding that frustration.

But I don't think it works most of the time. If anything, it makes things shittier. . Yeah. I have made lifts in anger before, but I would imagine that my quality of movement was not what it would've been had I not been angry. Well, I don't think it teaches you a very good life lesson if it's like, if I just get angry enough then it'll go my way, you know?

Well, that's a terrible, I almost don't wanna encourage people to like go that far because it can be really unpleasant for people around you. Oh yeah. And Jim like culture and like ambiance and environment is super important to me. Yes. Yeah, it's super important to me in community. You, there's a community aspect to it, but I do think there's times in life where you can use anger in a positive way.

Like sometimes getting pissed off moves you to action that you may not have pursued before. You know, there are, there are many activists, for better or worse, you know, some people are activists for good things and sometimes they're pushed into action because they get pushed just enough to be pissed off about it, to realize that if they don't stand up to power or whatever it is that mm-hmm.

who will, you know. So, yeah, I think, but there's a lot of different dynamics to that. I think in the training world, it's a little different when you're, it's you and a barbell and there's people around you who. Trying to better themselves and put themselves in a positive mental frame, and you're throwing fits and throwing shit in the gym.

Like that's, that's different. I think that's different than using your anger to positive action, you know? Mm-hmm. . So it's just a matter of, it's like a powerful tool, but you gotta know how to wield it. I don't know. There are rules and weightlifting about like no bar slamming or No they call it like excessive celebration.

Yeah. Like ripping your singlet off and stuff. Like, you can actually be disqualified for stuff like that. Yeah. And I think there's something to it. I don't really know like, where it comes from and like what, like don't just like, don't be hard on our equipment or something.  like, I dunno, I'm not sure like what the, the reasoning for it is, but sportsmanship is important to me.

It really is. Mm-hmm.  and I think that is, Like virtuosity is wrapped up in that. And you know, we've talked about poise and how that is, in my opinion, a very admirable quality. And just a way that I think that sports can kind of take you to the next level as a person because you're always up against adversity.

That's like the point. Mm-hmm. , you know, and there are so many variables to manage and some of those are in your control and some of them are not. And I think that's what's so beautiful about sport that I really didn't understand as a kid. And you know, as a kid I always just felt like it's just an arena, another arena to just be told what to do by an adult.

And virtuosity, you know, in my life has shown up when I was really able to make those decisions for myself, you know, no coach told me that I had to. Work out six days a week. I asked for six days a week. Mm-hmm. , you know,

I'm kind of stuck on this idea of anger and how it can be used, but I think perhaps the delineation between useful and unuseful anger is not only how it's directed, but what's at the root of it. Because if there's some ethical stance that you're angry about, I think moving you in a positive direction to for change is a positive way to use it.

And to bring it into a fitness analogy, like getting yourself amped up and angry to make a lift may not be the best value for the community that you're in. But what if you're overweight, sickly, frequent injuries? Perhaps, you know, emphysema, it's not something like that. And you realize that it's self-inflicted.

You put yourself here. Hmm. And it drives you to the point where you're pissed off about it. And that's what it takes to get you to get a coach and make a change in your life is the anger of your situation. And you know that it's in your power to stay well. Sure. I mean, the reason that so many people get into training or athletics is because they're not happy where they are.

Yeah. And you and I have talked about, you know, this like kind of challenging movement of like radical acceptance where there are parts of it that I buy into and parts of it that I can't. And you know, when it comes to your body and your health, You know, I, we all have room for improvement. Mm-hmm. , and there's so much out there available to us to change those circumstances for ourselves.

You know, we might not be able to cure it all ourselves, but in terms of like physically, intentionally moving every day or almost every day, we can all do that. Yeah. And I don't think it means that you hate yourself. I don't think it means that you, you know, are worthless and all that. It's, you know, it's a, it's an important improvement.

Yeah. The desire for change does not mean that you reject yourself. Right. Some do . Some do. Yeah. So, I mean, I've been in that position before where I've almost like sought out coaching out of desperation. Yeah. Like I've talked to you about with nutrition coaching. I have felt very. Like panicked at times and was thinking like, I need to get a control over this because my self image or my self worth is like really waning right now.

Yeah. Well, I think there's this word salad thing that's going on where people are just mixing up terms word salad. Yeah. That's funny. And I, there's this idea that self-acceptance

is the antithesis of improvement. Like, if you wanna improve something in your life, you're telling yourself, I'm not good enough. And so the the mantra is, I am enough, I'm good enough, worthy of love, blah, blah, blah. It's like, well, maybe, but you can still desire to get better and accept yourself where you are.

Yes, you can do both. They're not opposites. So striving to improve or striving to change something about yourself. Is not an, is not admitting that you are somehow unworthy of love or anything. In fact, I think it's, I think it's actually a statement of love to yourself. If you're saying, I'm gonna take ownership of my weight, my strength, my lung capacity, my management of this illness, injury, whatever it is, if you're taking ownership of that and saying, I'm gonna improve this, what greater act of love can you have for yourself?

Yeah. You know, I would almost feel better if the word was self respect. I feel like respect is like not a word that people say a lot these days or like you hear a lot about, but mm-hmm. , I feel like that's just self respect. Acceptance for some reason has this kind of like finite settling, sort of like,

Permanence. Yeah. To it. Well, I think it where I feel like respect can be evident on any point of the spectrum. Mm-hmm. , right? Like you can have self respect, you can like tell those haters to fuck off, like whatever it is. Yeah. Because you have self respect. Yeah. Self-acceptance. For some reason  just feels like like a cop out in a way.

Yeah. Of just kind of like excusing efforts for improvement. Yeah. And that's a really hard one because I don't wanna like rob that of people. I don't want people to think that, like, my job as a coach to tell you is to tell you like, you're not good enough where you are. I'm gonna take you somewhere else.

I, you know, those people still deserve respect. Everybody who goes into a gym, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day and they're like, you know, I always feel really self-conscious when I'm in the gym. And it just made me sad because everybody who was taking the effort to go to the gym, who are showing up, like that very first step that we were talking about mm-hmm.

They have self respect to and balls to do it. Yeah. They're, they're proclaiming, you know, like whether it's something you do privately in your home or if you're doing it publicly, like you are saying, I want control over my health. I want to do something that's gonna be nourishing and good for me. And that has nothing to be ashamed about.

And that is respecting yourself. You're respecting yourself enough to take good care of yourself. Yeah. And there's something that I wish was in the public conscious a little bit more, which is, that's a good way of putting it, that that mental health is important, but you cannot think yourself better because if you could just sit and imagine yourself to be better, then we would all be better.

Like, it's easy to sit and think about building confidence or being a more confident person, or this, so this idea of self-acceptance, right? The only way you can gain confidence is through action. You have to do something. You cannot, you cannot do all of the same things. You've been doing. The same habits, the same routines, the same, everything the same, and then change your mental wellbeing.

You can't do it. And if you are, it's probably a delusional of some kind, right? Really, I think it's temporary. And so I think, well, I don't think it, yeah, I don't think it goes very deeply. It can't stick. You might be able to temporarily talk yourself into feeling better about yourself by saying, I am worthy, I accept myself as I am, these kind of mantras or whatever, but that is not gonna stick, that's not gonna last if you're not taking action to live up to that image that you have of yourself.

Yeah. And lasting change is really the kind of change we're interested in here. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting with working against Gravity, the, the nutrition company that I, you know, use for their coaching and I'm also wanting to become a coach. They actually do ask, you know, it's kind of clever the way that they phrase it, but they give you a questionnaire in the beginning when they're just kind of in taking all sorts of information and they ask do you want to make quick progress that might.

Not last very long. Or do you want to take the slow and study approach that will have lasting effects? Yeah. And you actually have to make that decision. It's really interesting because they're kind of telling you right up front which one is gonna be better for you. Beautiful. I'm really curious if anybody actually clicks the other variation.

Like, sure, people wanna like look a certain way for their wedding date or have a competition that they need to like bang it out real quick. But it, they're also illuminating that that ain't gonna last, like, that's not gonna penetrate you as a person. And they do have lots of different opportunities for lasting change.

And one of those is a, is a mindful practice that I used to do every week really religiously. And the last couple of years I've just opted out. And so I actually have it on my to-do list this weekend to do the mindful practice because that really changed my thinking. Mm-hmm.  around things and that really.

Showed itself in my work and my dedication and my consciousness. You know, you know, it's the awareness, right? The practice. Practice versus habit. Totally. And, but it takes both because if you were just doing mindful practices every week, but you were not tracking your food, you were not eating with intention, you know, if the rest of the program was let go of and you were just doing the mindful practices, you would not see change.

Yeah. It takes action. It takes action to see change. Well, and I love how holistic it is. It's like, yeah. I feel like that's the, the overarching theme of this podcast. It's the overarching theme of CrossFit. It's the overarching theme of our business. Yeah. That really, there are a lot, there's a lot of ships in this.

You know? Yeah. And people can lie to themselves. And I say people meaning myself too. Like I can lie to myself. Oh yeah. We're not excused from any of the things we're talking about here. You know, if you're saying, if you're like looking in a mirror and saying, I am enough, good enough, these kind of mantras, but you're not taking any action to rise up to the occasion, you know, you're lying to yourself, and I think it's gonna actually make you feel worse about yourself.

But if you do that same affirmation, that same mantra, you look in the mirror and you tell yourself, I'm enough, but it's post-workout, you're gonna fucking know it. You're gonna know that you're enough because you've stepped up and you're taking care of yourself. Right. There is no greater high. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think follow through in showing yourself, like don't tell yourself. Show yourself. Show yourself that you're enough. Show yourself that you are. Worthy, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, by acting it out. Yeah. And I've always been told like for many, many years, like, wow, you're a very self-aware person.

A lot of times I would respond to that with, yeah, I know a lot about myself, but I'm not doing a lot with it. Or I'm not like taking the opportunities and I feel more motivated than ever to try more, to follow through more and just kind of like build that relationship with myself. You mm-hmm. , you know, when I was, you know, you and I had kind of a, a financial meeting about our business earlier today, and I was telling you like, A lot of what we're talking about is kind of scary to me.

Like these numbers are kind of nerve-wracking and I know it's gonna be some hard work from here on out. But I also in the same sentence was like, but I'm okay with that and we're gonna continue through. Yeah. Where I think a younger version of me would've like tried to, would've tried to pump the brakes and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Can't do it. Mm-hmm. . And I feel like virtuosity is almost like bravery in the same way that you are gonna meet challenges, it's just you decide to do them anyway. Yep. Yeah. And that's how you build confidence. Yeah. Even if you lose, even if you miss the lift, even if you lose the competition, even if you don't hit the goal, whatever it is, the activity of the pursuit builds confidence.

Yeah. Like moving in the right direction. You know, it's interesting, there's like only one lift that I can think of. That I know for a fact that I did not try my hardest. Remember it? Oh yeah. It's, yeah. It's yeah. Any guesses? It's not coming to mind. So it was the 2 20 18 state championships for weightlifting.

And I was kind of battling it out with this other girl who was like right on my tail and it was the clean and jerk session. I can't, my snatch session did not go well. Didn't I miss my first two? And then, and then you got your third That's, I was, and then I got my third. Damn, that is amazing. Yeah. Gosh, that used to be a really common experience for me early on in weightlifting where I would miss my first two, make my third.

And it took me a long time to realize like, that is not the way you wanna go. . Like, put some easy shit on that opener because it's the first lift of the whole day. You know, get the butterflies out, get some traction, get a number on the board. Board. Yeah. Yeah. Get something on there. Anyway, so that had been my experience and it was clean and jerks and the I for, oh gosh, I can't remember the number specifically but the gal who was neck and neck with me, she had missed 88.

It was her third attempt, 88 kilos for clean and jerk. And I had, for my second attempt I, I think it was higher than her second attempt. So it was kind of like down to the third lift, who would take first place. Mm-hmm. . And when she had missed her third attempt at 88. I knew that I had one already.

Right. And I remember you looking at me in the crowd and I was like what do they say? Like on deck? Mm-hmm. , I was on deck and I was sitting in my chair and I already started crying. , like already was starting to like lose it cuz I already know that I had won like Right. I think in like bigger competitions, a lot of lifters don't take their last attempt if that happens.

Cause you don't have to. But I did. And you know, I cleaned it, but I know that in that jerk I gave up or I just didn't, I was like way too overwhelmed with having already won. Already won. And, and the stakes weren't in it either. Yeah. It it really changes though because I have been in the position where I have battled it out for first place, like that tight Lee before.

Mm-hmm.  and it really did come down to the last lift and I have.  also done that too. But yes, that is one time that I can think of where I did not, I was not all in. But that like brings up an interesting question. Like, do we always have to be all in mm-hmm. , because in that case I really didn't, you'd already won, which is the objective.

But, but maybe that shouldn't have been the objective. Maybe the objective should have been to make the lift like that in the grander scheme of things is the point. Not in competition, I guess, but me as like a, as my higher self as like the weightlifter that I wanna be  it would be like, try to make the lift regardless, but I think I was just too overwhelmed.

Yeah. Well to do it, you know, I can clean, I can clean in my sleep, but a jerk takes a lot of, takes a lot for me to, to push through. Yeah. Well, the reason why in higher level competitions, people don't. Take that last lift if they've already won, is that there's a risk to it. There's a risk reward.

Every time you're up there, you're risking injury. Mm-hmm. . So if you're trying to seek a professional or high level career, you don't wanna risk injury for something that you've already won. You know, it's like if you're a sprinter and you already crossed the finish line in, you're, you're there. You're not gonna like sprint back to the start to celebrate.

Like it's, yeah. I guess that's our, that feeds into our like no when to quit podcast episode . Yeah, absolutely. But it does kind of relate to something else I wanted to bring up, which is, there's this idea when I first discovered logic and reason and, and these kind of things I really started to get into dichotomies and like all these ideas of how to think better.

Right. And for a long time I was so entrenched in that, that I really rejected. Things like emotion and intuition. Mm-hmm. . But here's the thing, we have intuition and emotions as part of our being, as part of who we are as a species. Yeah. So to reject that is illogical, you know? Yeah. We're not machines. So in the same vein of that, of like, oh wait, there's like a deeper sense of logic by accepting an emotional decision once in a while I earlier had defined excellence as better than yesterday.

Mm-hmm. , but sometimes going in the right direction might mean backtracking. So, so if somebody takes the wrong path in the forest and they should have taken a fork in the trail that was like two miles. It does not make sense to continue to go the wrong way once you've discovered that. But I see people, unless you're very stubborn, , but I see people do that in in fitness a lot of times.

How do you mean? Well, they'll build up, for instance, a deadlift with terrible positioning, and they get stronger and stronger and stronger in that terrible positioning. And then they start to plateau. And then I come along as a coach and say, well, you shouldn't be lifting that weight at all because you can't do it without rounding out your low back, which is dangerous.

But rather than back up and build back up properly, they just want to keep adding weight to that shitty deadlift. Right. This is like an our real isolated type of example. But I think a lot of people do that in life too, as kind of a sunk cost fallacy where, well, I've already built up all this time, I've already gone this two miles on the trail.

I better just keep going. Oh are we talking about my squat technique right now? No , but. I think my point is, is that I try to get across to some people that backtracking those two miles is progress. Going backwards in that instance is progress because you're gonna go find the right trail. And so the whole two miles that you're backtracking is not a waste of time.

That's you getting closer and closer to the right path. And so taking a step back is not a lack of excellence. And so to think, to kind of tie this all together with the whole logic and emotion thing, if we expect excellence to always be an improvement over yesterday, that's not only unrealistic, but sometimes a setback, an off season e and flow and allowing yourself to go through seasons and changes and changing your mind, changing your direction, changing your goals or whatever it is, is still progress.

That's not. That's not a lack of excellence. Well, it goes back to the doing what's common, uncommonly Well that is aligning and committing yourself to a standard, right? Yeah. And so sometimes it does require you to dismantle things, and a lot of times that's a coach's job to do to, you know, break down whatever you've been doing for years incorrectly and rebuild it.

Mm-hmm. . And it can be really hard to do that. You know, like, like I was just making a joke out of my squat technique, but that's a very real example. I've always had a very strong squat, my lower body strongest spot. Yeah. It's I was very proud of it for a long time. Well, when you're out squatting, most of the dudes in the room  I was always like, that's my wife.

Yes. So so  I would like to think that I'm just very well built for it and you know, would. I always kind of take the opportunity to go heavier if I could. But you know, we started working with another coach when we first moved here, which we've mentioned before, and he had asked me to adjust my positioning and it was a wider stance.

Allows me to be more upright, allows me to get deeper in the squat, and I could not even like warm up with the same weight. Mm-hmm.  that I used to. Of course I was deconditioned, but like I can throw 70 kilos on the bar and know that I can squat it mm-hmm. . But with this massive adjustment, what I, we could consider going back on that path mm-hmm.

and kind of restarting a new path. It was really hard for me to stick with. Like, part of me really wants to continue forth with that. But then there are sometimes where I just want to be stubborn about it and to do it in the old ways. I think you should, because I agreed with his assessment as a coach.

Like not just as your husband or somebody who wants, you know, but there's also, there's also a concept in coaching that I even alluded to this week, you know, kind of on ramping somebody and saying that, you know, the, the best position is what you feel strongest in. That's for you, you know, for it's incredibly individualized.

It is. Yeah. I think that that also needs to be taken into consideration too. It is, but sometimes doing things the wrong way can feel right, because you're so used to it that doesn't make it the right way. If you look at my back squat and my. Overhead squat, like in when receiving a snatch, I'm gonna assume they're very similar, right?

Because the back squat feeds right into that positioning. And I have wanted to adjust my positioning for both lip for the lifts of my starting position to widen it up because I'd like a more like no foot variation and that for those of you who aren't super familiar with Weightlift, is there is a point in the lift, a clean or a snatch where there's displacement of the feet.

Which means you actually jump to put it in layman's terms, you basically jump, well I call it displacement for a reason, cuz it doesn't always pronounce itself as jumping. We always kind of talk about like the trap door underneath the feet and there's a sliding, and I call it displacement cuz sometimes jumping makes them actually like kick their feet up.

And I don't want that as a coach. So I try to be very careful with those words. But There are other lifters that I really like their style of lifting and it looks really efficient to me. And that is more of a no foot variation, so that's kind of taking out the displacement of the feet. They still leave the floor some, but they don't move out so much from the starting position.

So the margin is a lot smaller. And I guess the reasoning is because it's more efficient, right? It's not gonna be such a long movement if my feet are further apart to start with and, you know, it might strengthen areas that I've had issues with, like with my hips. Like this might help bring in some supporting musculature that might allow some of my injuries to be resolved.

Mm-hmm. . And so that is, A motivation for it. But to commit myself to a new path is so hard to do, especially when I've had how many thousands of reps under my belt doing it the other way. It's a good time to start now, though. It is. But then there's some, I have to really think about like, what are my priorities here?

Is it just to, is it to move well? Is it to just be able to like do this as a hobby for whatever? And then maybe I don't have to be such a stickler about technique, but the thing about weightlifting that I love so much is that, Yes, being strong is a part of it, but there are so many other elements to it, so many nuances and, you know, technique that can be a focus as well.

You know, there, there are strong ass weightlifters out there, but there are beautiful technicians and I love watching them. And so it just, like you had said about excellence, it's multidimensional mm-hmm.  and it really brings a lot of other elements in that, you know, can, you know, in the athletic world can prevent injury, make you more well rounded you know, appeal to your stamina, your strength, your coordination, many different things.

And so I think that is what is really cool about bringing virtuosity to our attention is that it's not about being the first person done, it's not about lifting the heaviest thing in the room, it's. It's about the whole experience. It's about you as a person as well. It's you as having a sportsmanship.

What was, what did that mean again? Gestalt? Like the whole Oh, for arts. The thing in the whole thing? Yeah. Like how it makes you feel. How it looks, the technique that, the impression, everything. Yeah, it's everything. Yeah. I think that you might be avoiding the squat thing. I think that you should,   think that you should rebuild that from the new pos, newer positioning cause.

It may not feel as good or as strong, but I can see the mechanics are better. As a coach, I can see that the mechanics are better, so, well, I might have to have something to consider. I might have to have eyes on me for that because it doesn't feel right. Mm-hmm. , you know, it's easy to just fall into the grooves that my body prefers.

Yeah, and think of it like learning a language or a musical instrument. If you develop a bad habit over time, that's gonna feel good. The bad habit is gonna be what feels right. I hate saying a word wrong. In the language that you're learning can get to be such a habit that you just say it automatically and it's because it's automatic.

It's, that's the way you say it. And then some native speaker is like, you're not saying that word Right. And it's like, oh. And now it's uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. . But just cuz it's uncomfortable doesn't mean that it's wrong. So. Well I know it's an opportunity  and this is, you know, that other topic that we've discussed too.

Leveling up fatigue. Sometimes I don't, it's had to write that up. Really? Yeah. Cuz that's onto my bullet points. Is it really? Yeah. So you're kidding. So I was just talking about excellence, not only being able to step back, but also think, thinking of it in seasons. And you and I had a conversation early in our relationship about man, doesn't it sometimes.

Sometimes you're just tired of trying to be better all the time. Well, I remember telling you about it when I was dealing with something personal. Mm-hmm.  and I. Trying to be the bigger person. Trying to be the bigger person. I was like not having it that time. I'm like, no, I'm always doing that. I'm always trying to figure it out.

I'm always trying to strategize. I'm always trying to appeal the other person. Sometimes I just don't want to have to do that. Yeah. And it just comes out of fatigue. Like of course I wanna have like favorable interactions and results and relationships. Mm-hmm.  and you know, especially if you're in a relationship where that is not reciprocated, it can get really old.

Yeah. And I can definitely burn out on even just thinking about it. Yeah. Well and that burnout I think is just the reason I wanted to bring up that excellence can't always be an upward trajectory. There's gotta be ups and downs. There's gotta be seasonality to it. Cuz that's nature. That's just the world we live in is cyclical in nature and so, I think that part of excellence is also kind of getting fatigued with trying to level up all the time and then just being okay with like, you know what, I'm gonna Netflix and chill, like fuck this.

Like, I'm not gonna even try because sometimes we just need a little bit of reset and and acknowledgement of our humanity and then and be okay as that being part of the process. That's not a detraction from the process. That's just part of the entire big picture aspect of excellence. Well, you and I were talking to our new client this morning about adjusting their training to have seasons, right?

Yes. Because they train all year round and it doesn't really give them an opportunity to. Not just have a break, but to prioritize other things that are being neglected. Right? There are all these areas that need a lot of improvement, but kind of pursuing or pushing forward is not really addressing those weaknesses.

And, you know, it might be really interesting with weightlifting as a sport that I've only known to be year round to do it seasonally. Yeah, that could be really interesting. And like have a off season where I really focus on mobility, joint stability, like all those things that were training all the time.

And taking a step back, like, what if you rebuilt your squat from snap, from, from snatch, from scratch, and it took you a year to get back to where you previously were. But now with a new positioning, you'd need an off season to be able to do that and then come back like, Amazing from where you were. That's such an interesting idea cuz I've really only thought about doing things like that when injuries have arise, like occurred.

Like I did the small love weightlifting program, which anyone who has like actually survived it. Kudos to you cuz it's a really, gosh, it really tests your character, that squat program. And I had only done it because I had torn my shoulder and I have never done it since. Mm-hmm. . And it would be really interesting to just prioritize that solely to build back strength because in a sport that is so technique reliant and I have taken off so much time that, you know, I'm over the age of 30 now I know that I've lost strength.

Still a lot left in the tank, but I know that I've lost strength. It would be very interesting to see. How kind of respecting that cyclical, organic mortal quality that we have in this arena too. Mm-hmm. , you haven't seen the rookie yet, but it's on our mo baseball movie. Yeah, it's on our movie list to watch for me to show you.

But it's actually a true story of a man who didn't make the major leagues in his prime. So when he was in his prime, he suffered an injury. He was a pitcher and he was kind of like benched and then kind of washed out, and then he became a high school coach and that was just his life, and it was a chapter in his life that was over.

But in taking that big long break and setback, he allowed himself to heal and then realized that the technique had stuck. And he still had an arm for it. And so as he began to, you know, practice more and more and they got a radar gun and they started testing it, it's like he's throwing a hundred mile an hour fast balls and it's like, wait, what the fuck?

And so he is like, reentered the sport at a much older age than most people would, but he came back better than he was pre-injury. Yeah. You know, that seasonal thing really is what he needed. Well, first of all, I really wanna see that movie because it's got Dennis Ku in it and I love him so much. But there are times where I really believe that my next go round at weightlifting will be even better than the first time.

Yeah. But there are a lot of times where I don't buy into that and I'm like, I've already lived through my prime, or I've like already hit my peak. Well, and I think there's times where you kind of say that you're not really even interested in it either. Like, well, part of that is like, I wanna do that work out of fear because of that.

Like, I'm afraid almost to, it's not the workload. Well, fuck. Yeah. Like part of me really doesn't want to do that, but there might be a smarter way of doing that. That's true. You know, like I went to a chiropractor every week because I just had like needed pain management. Yeah. You know, and you know, you would know too because you would also like give me massages here and there and like things were so painful, like on a very regular basis.

And so you know, this definitely puts me in a driver's seat and you know, kind of alluding back to that, just showing up. Like I feel like I'm in a position now that I kind of just need to focus on that. Yeah. I need a lot of structure and I need a lot of not guidance. You know, I do feel really comfortable being able to like assess my own movement if I take video.

Decide to dissect it. I feel like I've got the eye for it, but I feel like right now I just kind of need that, like, pressure to just show up and do the work. Yeah. Like a lot of people seek out coaching because they don't wanna make those decisions for their selves themselves. It takes effort to build a program.

And so yeah, I feel like I just need to kinda like show up and do the work and like do the hours. But you know, if I do decide to kind of change up my technique, that takes like a level of operation beyond just showing up. I have to really focus on that because I'm gonna be forcing myself into positions that don't feel right yet.

You know, I don't, I don't have those paths carved out in a way that feel right. Yeah. But you could do it now in a less formal way, but just like, I'm gonna get into this new position. As you're warming up empty bar, you know, like let's start to rebuild. But I want to, before we jump off here, I want to talk about, you know, we had started this conversation with like, something is better than nothing.

Mm-hmm.  and I, I feel like I really want to convey that there can also be a striving for excellence when all you feel like you can do is barely show up because you can always find some way of developing excellence. So we talked about people who are thinking that performance is just like getting it done faster, moving the most weight, et cetera, but not focusing on other areas.

And that excellence is a three dimensional aspect, right? But you can also take that as a cue of let's, if I don't have much to give, if all I can do is like, put on my gym clothes and do. One set of pushups, and that's all I have in me. I'm just like so defeated or I don't have much time or gotta get I overslept, you know, blah, blah, blah.

All these excuses of why I should just throw in the towel. Doing something is better than nothing. But if all you have time for is one set of pushups, make them excellent. Do them well, like do them really well. Full range of motion tempo, whatever that is. Or maybe if that's a pattern and you keep running out of time, maybe the next way of just showing up is do one more than you did yesterday.

Or maybe the way of just showing up is to see how many consecutive days you can just show up. If all you can do is just barely show up, then okay, how many days can you just barely show up consistently? Like there's so many ways to win. You know, you can look for different ways of scoring yourself on whether you're winning and improving.

So. I just wanted to throw that out there, that excellence can still be pursued even with a minimal effort. Like you can, you can kinda have a minimal effort toward excellence. Yeah. So I think that's important to note that don't go up if all you have is a minimum to give, you don't have to feel defeated about it.

You can say Okay. Yeah. Just because of it's, if it's the minimum, it doesn't mean you like throw it all out the window. Yeah. You don't give up on it. Yeah. So even if you're going in with like, well, something is better than nothing, then let's make this something good. Yeah. Like, let's show up. Let's really do it.

I love that. Yeah. So in the coming weeks, we haven't really decided which topic we're gonna go with yet, but just to tease a few. We've got one that's all show and no go, which is appearance without substance. We've touched on that in a previous podcast, but I think it's related to the idea of fake it till you make it.

Mm. Which can carry over outside of the fitness realm into. Sometimes that's a good thing for sure. Sometimes maybe you're just faking yourself out. So Well, and also just like the dynamic of assumptions, I think that's gonna be big. Yeah. So that could be a fun conversation. We've also got

Let's see, we already, we already did that one that carry over. That's another one that's coming up is carryover. So isn't that what this whole podcast is? This whole Yeah, exactly. So fitness can carry over to improve other aspects of your life. That's kinda what this podcast is like is about, but what else are you doing that has carryover?

So keystone habits, Keystone practices. Mm-hmm. , something that you can do in one area of your life that's gonna have a carryover into other areas of your life, or one practice that makes other practices more accessible for. So that could be a fun conversation too. Anyway, that's a couple things that are coming up.

Yay. By the time this podcast airs, we will have already changed some things around, but we've decided to let go of the name of the lium and go with personal excellence training because it really sums up what we're doing in the podcast is gonna be the Live All Your Life podcast at Live All your life.com.

So the business is gonna be live all your life. Live all your life. Yeah. Live all your life. Live all your life is the all-encompassing thing that we're doing. So the podcast, the blog, the website everything and Personal Excellence Training is our training services that are right, yes. Available in the business.

So sorry for the confusion, but we are trying to basically just express who we are and what we're doing a little more clearly. And the lym just took too much explanation, so that's why the change and anything else you wanna add? What we're doing or where we're going. I'm curious where you are gonna be by the time this airs.

You're probably gonna be, I'll be unemployed by the time this 

episode 

airs. I really do wanna talk about that sometime in terms of like, the moves that we're making in our business. I know that that's gonna, that's tying in with something that we've got here. So I don't know if we wanna talk about it now or do you wanna save it for a later episode?

You know, we can maybe we'll just tease it. You know, we I'm quitting my full-time job to go full-time in our business and we've already got a handful of, you know, coaching clients and that kind of thing, but we have so much bigger things in store because we have decided that just like our eclectic nature, we, we, we love architecture and art and music and fitness obviously, and, and ranching and.

Everything that you're starting to get an inkling of on this podcast is very, very diverse. And we are gonna be offering services that are reflective of that education, services and coaching and mentoring in a lot of different arenas. Mm-hmm. . So we have a program coming up that's doesn't have a title yet, but you'll probably hear an ad for it after this episode.

Cause by the time it airs we'll have it figured out. But we're going to be leading people through an intensive 90 day launch program to kind of empower them to not only get fit and dial in nutrition and exercise and that kind of thing, but also look for ways that these things can carry over to other areas of their lives.

Well, what was most important for me to bring up with this transition is, you know, we're betting on ourselves mm-hmm.  by doing this. Yeah. And as much as it is stretching us, I, in the same capacity feel like this is the right move for us, for us to really stand on our own feet and really, and share what we really believe in and you know, take that leap and give it a go.

And I really hope that even more things reveal themselves with doing this and kind of like rewarding us with taking this risk, if you will. Mm-hmm. . Because I would not consider myself like a, a person who likes that kind of stuff. Risky stuff, so . Yeah. I definitely feel like a lot of growth personally by doing this with you, but it's also.

Really deepening our trust in each other. And it's really cool. And that's why I think it needs to be its own podcast, or I'm sure an upcoming episode is gonna touch on some of these themes that, you know, I wanna share what we're doing with the business as we go along. Like mm-hmm. , we were in a very different place than we started these recordings, and that was only like 12 weeks ago.

Yeah. Yeah. So really excited to share that with everyone and really grateful for anyone who's listening because you're part of it, you're part of this ride that we're going on, this dance that we're doing. And it's a privilege to have you listening and, and it's gonna be really exciting to share more with you.

So definitely, definitely coming soon, we'll give you, we'll pull back the curtains and let you see what's behind the scenes. Our business, not just the podcast, but just the whole multidimensional aspect of it and the risks that we're taking and yeah, taking the leap kind of situation. I wanna share the dirty details.

You know, we've always talked about how there's what is it called? Like survivors bias or something like that? Yeah. And I don't want to just reflect on it. I wanna be able to kind of tease it out as it's happening. Yeah, yeah. Even the uncomfortable parts and the parts that may be tough to share or that aren't fleshed out.

We're gonna, we're gonna lay it all out there for you so that you can kind of see behind the scenes of stuff. Well, I feel like we should do it now. Now it's almost two hours in and that's kind of off topic from what we were doing. So let's record some more on the topic. Okay. . So thanks for being here, everybody, obviously we've teased a lot that's coming up, so stick with us.

Hit subscribe. If you have not subject tease, please feel free to share. Cetera, cetera. That really helps us out a lot and. The more people we have on the journey, the more it's gonna benefit you and love having you. So thank you very much and we'll see you next week.

This episode was produced by T Zari and Cody Limbaugh. Check out our writing coaching services and homesteading adventures at live all your life.com. For show notes, resources mentioned, or to submit a question or contribution, click on the podcast tab

and we can keep. Yeah, I just cut off the beginning, but let me get adjusted. I kinda like adjust  bail hop, take, what is it? A jump to the left ? A step to the right. Oh, you're doing the time warp.

Okay. Got it. I did. Okay. I did. Okay. So today's ice I hate when I start with, so.